“American Airlines to Internet Provider: GOGO to Hell!”

“American Airlines to Internet Provider: GOGO to Hell!”

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“It’s not me, it’s you.”

In a shocking move last Friday, American Airlines filed a lawsuit in Texas state district court against it’s in-flight internet provider, Gogo Inflight Internet. The suit states that American Airlines has found a faster internet provider and wishes to move on from GOGO. Does American mean business? Well… Wall Street definitely does. GOGO’s stock took a Thelma & Louise nosedive on Tuesday.

"uhhhh, folks. The Captain has turned on the fasten seatbelt sign..."
“uhhhh, folks. The Captain has turned on the fasten seatbelt sign…”

If you think it’s only a scare, you haven’t experienced GOGO’s bandwidth for yourself. Watching a streaming video of any length is a fool’s game with GOGO. The bandwidth battle on domestic flights is like 50 Rottweilers sharing a large pepperoni pizza. Somehow, some way, GOGO has clung to 80% of the in-flight internet market, mainly through long-time partnerships with legacy carriers American, Delta, & United.

Unlike ViaSat (the newer, faster, sexier internet mistress mentioned in Friday’s lawsuit), which can offer gate-to-gate wifi with its satellite-based service, GOGO’s *yawn* ground-to-sky technology means you have to wait until 10,000 feet of elevation before powering up (often over an hour from the time you board), and you’re cut off like a rambling Oscars speech when the plane descends below 10,000 feet on approach.

The price tag isn’t cheap for the shoddy & limited service.

"Gogo has an Instant Cognitive Dissonance reaction built-in to every plan"
“Gogo has an Instant Cognitive Dissonance Reaction built-in to every plan”

Meanwhile, ViaSat boasts flexible tiered pricing on carriers like JetBlue and Virgin America. Jetblue allows free basic internet browsing for social media, news, & email, and $9/hr high-speed internet for video streaming and gaming. Virgin America allows Netflix subscribers to stream the content for free! Meanwhile, GOGO’s free services include “punching your laptop” and “screaming into a pillow.”

While we hate to see companies fail and employees laid off, many tech-savvy travelers will be glad to see GOGO upgrade their Cretaceous Period Technology© or become fossilized by the free market. Fans of GOGO are the same people who prefer a familiar smelly yellow taxi cab over a sexy Uber ride at half price.

photo courtesy of Bloomberg.com
photo courtesy of Bloomberg.com

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